Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

We often think being a good partner means putting someone else first—but what happens when you lose yourself in the process? In this episode, we’re unpacking self-abandonment in relationships and the subtle ways people sacrifice their needs, boundaries, and identity for the sake of keeping a connection. We’re also talking about the difference between healthy compromise and losing yourself completely, why self-sacrifice can quietly turn into resentment, and the signs you may be prioritizing a relationship over your own well-being. Ultimately, we explore how maintaining your sense of self is essential to building healthy relationships—and why the strongest connections are the ones where you don’t have to abandon yourself to make them work. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If one things for certain, there's a lot of uncertainty in dating, relationships, and the world right now. We're joined by journalist and author Simone Stolzoff to talk about why people struggle so much with uncertainty and how this shows up in our romantic relationships. We're discussing the three traps that make us believe there's certainty even when there isn't, ways to build an uncertainty tolerance to apply to dating situations and relationships, and how to reframe 'not knowing' as something positive that sets us up for discovery to find the types of relationships and opportunities beyond what we thought was even possible.

To learn more about Simone Stolzofff go to https://simonestolzoff.com. Get his new book 'How To Not Know: The Value of Uncertainty in a World that Demands Answers' wherever books are sold.

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Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We often hear the idea of “right person, wrong time”—but what if that’s not really what’s happening? In this episode, we’re unpacking how timing and readiness often get confused in relationships, and why someone not showing up fully usually says more about their willingness to prioritize you than the timing itself. We’re also talking about the way we romanticize almost-relationships, and how that can keep us stuck in stories that don’t reflect reality. Ultimately, we explore how getting honest about readiness—yours and theirs—can help you move on from connections that aren’t aligned and open up space for someone who actually is. Enjoy!

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Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Could you really be one to two shifts away from having the type of healthy relationship you've always wanted? Our guest today, Amy Chan, believes so as she talks about the dating experiment that changed her life (that you all can do too) and how to look at dating like a sale funnel to identify which part is tripping you up. We discuss the 5 stages of dating, why we often want to slide through the most important phase, and how you can create your own dating bootcamp by being the scientist of your love life.

To learn more about Amy Chan follow her @missamychan and go to https://missamychan.com Get her new book 'Unsingle' wherever books are sold.

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PS We mention dating experiments we've done in the intro, here are the episodes:

S13E18: 24-Hour Date

S11E11: Politics Aside: A Blind Date Experiment

Season 10 Episode 9: Love is Blind Part 1

Season 10 Episode 10: Love is Blind Part 2

Season 7 Episode 1: 2 Blind Dates

Season 3 Episode 3: Dating on a Whim

Season 2 Episode 1: The Blind Date

Take our Dating Archetypes quiz: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

We often get the question—when is the right time to have sex? In this episode we're digging into what we wish we knew when it came to sex, timing and the intimacy / expectations that come from it. We're discussing the challenge that comes from outdated rules like having sex on the third date, why its less about timing and more about the connection you've built, and how to feel more emotionally confident broaching the subject / deciding together that the time is right. Enjoy!

-

Take the Dating Archetypes quiz now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Read our book: How To Be Dateable: The Essential Guide To Finding Your Person and Falling in Love: https://howtobedateable.com/

Try the Dateable AI Dating Coach: Get personalized advice trained on our years of podcast episodes, courses and frameworks: https://studio.com/dateable

Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcasts The Psychology of Relationships and Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.

WE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE (Simon & Schuster) is available now: https://howtobedateable.com/

Want to remove distractions from your dates? Download Brick and get 10% off at https://www.getbrick.app/DATEABLE

Our Sponsors:
* Get Rain of Shadows and Endings wherever books are sold or at Kensington Publishing https://www.kensingtonbooks.com
* Ruggable: Get 10% off your first order, sitewide, with promo code DATEABLE at https://ruggable.com


Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy