In Buddhism, we're encouraged to cherish others more and deepen our compassion. Some may wonder if there is a contradiction between these heart-opening practices and having healthy boundaries.
But here is the truth: even the Buddha set boundaries.
In the texts, the Buddha frequently chose who to engage with, when to enter noble silence, and how to protect himself so he could serve the world effectively. In fact, true compassion requires boundaries. Sometimes the kindest thing to do for another is to set a strong boundary.
In this episode, JoAnn Fox explores the concept of boundaries through a Buddhist lens. We look at how creating a boundary isn't an act of anger or separation; it's an act of wise compassion for ourselves and others.
According to the American Psychological Association, healthy boundaries are not "walls" to keep people out, but rather "gates" that allow you to manage your energy and safety.
Buddhism offers perspectives to help us find the sweet spot between "porous" boundaries that leave us depleted, and "rigid" boundaries that keep us isolated or limit our growth.
" All the happiness in the world arises from wishing others to be happy
All the suffering in the world arises from wishing ourselves (alone) to be happy."
—Shantideva, Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life
Shantideva (1997). A Guide to the Bodhisattva's Way of Life. Translated by Vesna and B. Alan Wallace. Shambala Publications.
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