Choosing the Life That Feels True: Charm and Mary Magdalene on ADHD, Addiction, Writing, and Self-Honesty
Charm Welcomes Mary Magdalene Back to Luk-E Charm
In this episode of Luk-E Charm, host Charm welcomes returning guest Mary Magdalene after a two-week break. The program opens with the show’s energetic theme song, which Mary describes as as having a sexy, 1980s-style rock feeling. Charm then checks in with Mary, who shares that a meaningful change happened since the previous episode: she decided to step away from a bass-playing project in an Alanis Morissette cover band so she could return her focus to writing.
Mary Steps Away from the Band to Write
Mary explains that she began learning bass about three years earlier and had played in a few bands, but she had also stepped away from music in order to write. When she was invited into the new band project, she initially accepted, but soon realized that learning and memorizing the songs made her feel pressured and trapped rather than excited. She says she began regretting the time she was spending on bass because she wanted to be writing instead. Although it was difficult to tell her friend she was leaving the project, Mary felt relief after making the decision, and she shares that she had another story published the day before the show.
Following Excitement Without Being Trapped
Charm and Mary discuss what it means to follow what feels true, even when doing so may disappoint others. Mary says that when she feels trapped, she almost cannot continue doing something that does not align with her desire. Charm sees this as an example of being tuned in to what excites someone and what does not. Mary adds that this ability has not always been simple or purely positive, because it has sometimes led her to make impulsive decisions or walk away from situations that many people would not leave. Still, both agree that being true to oneself matters, even when the process requires more grace and care.
Preparing, Not Preparing, and Authentic Conversation
Charm admits that she often thinks about preparing for the show but does not necessarily write or script the conversation in advance. Mary asks what Charm chooses to do instead when she tells herself she “should” be preparing, and Charm says she usually does almost anything but formal preparation. Charm explains that she prefers the conversation to feel raw, realistic, and authentic rather than scripted. She recalls a successful life coach who said he did not know what he would say on stage because he was not there yet, and she says that approach helped shape her own comfort with speaking naturally.
ADHD, Hyperfocus, and the Challenge of Simple Tasks
Mary then talks about ADHD, explaining that it can involve difficulty beginning boring or routine tasks while also allowing intense hyperfocus on creative work. She says she can easily write a 2,000-word story, while small tasks such as cleaning or taking out trash can feel nearly impossible. Mary describes similar patterns in her children, including her daughter’s ability to spend hours drawing and her son’s ability to spend hours with music. Charm questions whether ADHD should be seen as something wrong, suggesting that labels can sometimes make natural differences seem negative, while Mary explains that diagnoses often arise when doctors see consistent patterns across people.
Mary’s Diagnosis and Understanding Herself
Mary says she was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and that the diagnosis helped her understand parts of her life that had previously confused her. She had always known she was different, often blurting out honest thoughts and struggling socially. The diagnosis helped her connect the dots, forgive herself, and calm her nervous system because she could finally understand why certain patterns had repeated. She also discusses rejection sensitivity, saying that earlier in life she could be deeply hurt by criticism or perceived rejection, but now she can recognize those feelings more clearly and not take everything personally.
Leaving Relationships, Moving Countries, and Learning Grace
Mary shares several examples of major life decisions she made quickly once she knew something was right or wrong for her. She once quit a teaching job to move to Spain by herself without knowing anyone or speaking the language, then later moved to Hawaii when she felt unhappy after returning home. She also reflects on leaving her first marriage abruptly, saying she felt trapped in a life that looked good from the outside but did not feel like her own. Mary says she does not regret choosing truth for herself, but she does recognize that she could have handled the ending with more grace because her former husband and his family were hurt.
Solitude, Relationships, and Toxic Patterns
Charm and Mary discuss how relationships, friendships, and social life can feel complicated. Mary says she enjoys people but often reaches a point where the novelty fades and she would rather be alone. She explains that she is not lonely, even though she is often alone, and that solitude feels easier because she does not have to pretend or mirror social cues. She also says that therapy helped her understand other people’s perspectives and that part of her growth involved stepping away from toxic relationships and recognizing patterns she had previously repeated.
Addiction, Habits, and Making a New Choice
Charm introduces the topic of addiction, explaining that addiction is not limited to substances such as alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, or smoking. She suggests that people can also be addicted to behaviors, toxic people, patterns, or ways of responding. Mary considers whether she was once addicted to intense emotional connection or passion in relationships, while Charm notes that addiction becomes a problem when someone wants to stop but cannot. Charm shares that she smoked for about 30 years before quitting, and says the turning point was using a 21-day habit-breaking method, marking each day on her bathroom mirror until the new pattern held.
Manifestation, Action, and Writing as Freedom
Toward the end, Charm and Mary touch on manifestation and the need to pair desire with action. Mary says that when she truly wants something, she often writes it down, says it aloud, and then begins taking physical steps toward it. She emphasizes that manifestation still requires action: people do not become published writers without writing stories. Mary describes writing as the first creative pursuit that truly feels like it can hold her, because each story is new and allows freedom rather than trapping her in a single form. She also says writing helps her transform childhood trauma and difficult experiences into something she can release.
Closing Invitation for Future Conversations
As the episode closes, Charm says she would eventually like to take calls from listeners who resonate with the discussion, especially those dealing with ADHD, addiction, self-honesty, or related experiences. She invites listeners to connect through BBS and thanks Mary Magdalene for returning to the show, praising her energy and what she contributes. Mary thanks Charm as well, and they agree to continue the conversation in two weeks.
