Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life

Your kid announces they’re cutting out sugar. No cookies or dessert, just carrots and hummus for lunch on repeat. You notice they’ve lost a little weight. And somewhere in the back of your mind, a voice keeps asking: is this fine, or is this not fine?

Are you being anxious, or are you being appropriately worried? That in-between space is exhausting. If that’s where you are right now, you’re not overreacting, and you’re not alone.

Dr. Kelly Bhatnagar walks us through what actually separates a “healthy eating” phase from something worth a closer look — and why the kids who need the most support are often the ones who feel, to themselves, the most in control.

You’ll walk away with a simple framework for bringing this up with your kid — one that doesn't require perfect timing or the perfect words. 

Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and globally recognized expert on adolescent development who partners with UNICEF to support parents worldwide.

Dr. Kelly Bhatnagar is a licensed clinical psychologist and eating disorder specialist with over 20 years of experience, co-founder of the Center for Emotional Wellness, and a certified provider of Maudsley Family-Based Treatment for adolescents.



Dr. Bhatnagar’s eating disorder consulting services and program development coaching: www.eatpsychscience.com

Maudsley Family-Based Treatment: https://www.aedweb.org/aed-training-program/training-program-mantra-11-2026

The Academy for Eating Disorders (AED): https://www.aedweb.org/home

F.E.A.S.T. (Families Empowered and Supporting Treatment of Eating Disorders): https://feast-ed.org/

American Academy of Pediatrics statement about weight and behavior-focused guidance: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/138/3/e20161649/52684/Preventing-Obesity-and-Eating-Disorders-in

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 GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- PRE-ORDER: The Emotional Lives of Parents: Caring for Ourselves to Better Care for Our Children → https://bit.ly/EmotionalLivesofParents

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠

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Parenting a tween or teen? Buckle up. Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life tackles the questions that keep parents up at night — academics, friendships, mental health, screens, meltdowns, and more.

Every week, psychologist Lisa Damour teams up with a different expert to answer a real parent's real question — no fluff, no judgment, just practical, evidence-based advice you can actually use. Dr. Damour and her colleagues also turn their attention to the emotional rollercoaster of raising kids — the moments that leave you feeling uneasy, overwhelmed, or just plain alone.

You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to hit play.

________________

Today's Sponsors:

Caraway: 10% off your next order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.carawayhome.com/asklisa⁠⁠⁠

Oak Essentials: Use the code ASKLISA for 15% off your next purchase at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.Oakessentials.com⁠⁠.

Warby Parker: Buy one prescription pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional prescription pairs at ⁠⁠⁠https://www.WarbyParker.com/ASKLISA ⁠⁠

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You may know this scene: your kid forgot practice gear again, an assignment vanished into the void, and you're wondering if your teen is just disorganized — or is there something more serious going on?

That mix of exhaustion and frustration is real. Chasing lost details, worrying that you may have dropped the ball, wondering if you're overreacting to normal middle school or high school organization struggles, or missing something bigger — you're allowed to feel all of that without it meaning you're failing anyone.

Here's some good news: the part of the brain that handles executive functioning is still under construction all through high school and doesn't fully come online until your kid reaches their mid-20s. So a teen who can't stay organized, forgets homework, or misses details isn't revealing a character flaw. It's a work-in-progress brain doing exactly what a work-in-progress brain does.

Today's guest, Dr. Tori Cordiano, walks us through how to lower the bar on what counts as "normal," and build a few sturdy tools for executive function instead of expecting your teen to self-manage it all. She talks through how to let natural consequences do some of the teaching, and how tying responsibilities to what your teen actually cares about is often more motivating than punishment ever is. 

Stay curious, and know there's a clear sign for when consistent struggles and concerning school feedback it's worth pursuing an evaluation. You've got more room here than you think.

Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and globally recognized expert on adolescent development who partners with UNICEF to support parents worldwide. Dr. Tori Cordiano is a licensed clinical psychologist, speaker, and writer specializing in child and adolescent development. In her private practice, she provides comprehensive evaluations, parent consultation, and psychotherapy, alongside a virtual course for parents on executive functioning and a regular newsletter. Dr. Cordiano also serves as a consulting psychologist and Co-Director of the Center for Research for Girls at Laurel School.

Dr. Cordiano’s executive functioning course for parents, consultation services, and professional speaking: drtoricordiano.com

The Time Timer: https://www.timetimer.com/

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Parenting a tween or teen? Buckle up. Ask Lisa: Untangling Family Life tackles the questions that keep parents up at night — academics, friendships, mental health, screens, meltdowns, and more.

Every week, psychologist Lisa Damour teams up with a different expert to answer a real parent's real question — no fluff, no judgment, just practical, evidence-based advice you can actually use. Dr. Damour and her colleagues also turn their attention to the emotional rollercoaster of raising kids — the moments that leave you feeling uneasy, overwhelmed, or just plain alone.

You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to hit play.

________________



Today's sponsors:

Jones Road Beauty:  Use the code ASKLISA for a free full sized Mascara with your first purchase at ⁠https://www.jonesroadbeauty.com⁠.

Momentous: Get up to 35% off your first order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://

Shopify: Sign up for your free trial today at ⁠https://www.shopify.com/asklisa⁠

Skylight: Get $30 off your 15-inch calendar a www://www.MySkylight.com/ASKLISA________________



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If you've ever wondered whether you're doing enough to help your child feel good about themselves, Dr. Lisa Damour has curated her most essential guidance on confidence, self-esteem & self-compassion into one episode for you.

This encore “Best of Ask Lisa” compilation offers a research-backed roadmap for raising kids with a solid sense of self-worth — and for parents who want to model that from the inside out. This episode also features conversations with three leading experts: Dr. Tovah Klein, Dr. Sue Varma, and Dr. Traci Baxley.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why kids' confidence naturally dips at predictable points in development, and why those wobbles are not a sign that you've failed

- Why self-esteem needs many "tributaries", and why kids who rely on a single source of self-worth are most vulnerable when that tributary runs dry

- How confidence is built through doing hard things and being someone who can be counted on (and how to help kids get there without being pushed)

- Why what you say about yourself in front of your kids shapes their inner voice more than almost anything you say directly to them

- How tending to your own sense of worth will help you support your child's

Your child is taking cues from how you talk to yourself, care for yourself, and recover from setbacks. This episode helps you put those cues to good use.

________________ GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠

________________



Today's sponsors:

Jones Road Beauty:  Use the code ASKLISA for a free full sized Mascara with your first purchase at ⁠https://www.jonesroadbeauty.com⁠.

Rocket Money: Join at https://www/RocketMoney.com/ASKLISA

Simple Practice: Sign up for a free 7-day trial, and get 50% off your first three months at https://www.simplepractice.com.

Masterclass: Get 15% off any annual membership at https://www.masterclass.com/ASKLISA

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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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The college admissions process doesn't have to consume your family. If it already feels that way, this episode is exactly what you need.

Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan revisit their conversation with Rick Clark, higher education leader, co-author of “The Truth About College Admission: A Family Guide to Getting In and Staying Together,” and a career insider in college admissions at Georgia Tech. Rick has spent years helping families cut through the noise, anxiety, and mythology of the admissions process, and his perspective is grounding and genuinely reassuring. 

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why there is no magic formula for college admissions, and why that's actually good news for your teen

- What a strong college essay actually looks like — and the one mistake that sinks more applications than any other

- How to structure college conversations so they don't bleed into every carpool and dinner, protecting your relationship and your sanity through the process

- Why "test optional" means something different at every school, and how to use net price calculators to get a realistic picture of what college will actually cost

- Why you should be talking to parents of current college students, not parents of other applicants — and what a difference that shift makes

The college admissions process can be stressful, but it doesn't have to take all of the joy out of family life.

________________

 GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠

________________



Today's sponsors:

Cash App: For a limited time, new Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use code: FAMILY10.

Momentous: Get up to 35% off your first order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.livemomentous.com⁠

Unwaffle: Use the promo code ASK LISA to get 15% off your first order at https://www.eatunwaffle.com.

Warby Parker: Buy one prescription pair of glasses and get 20% off any additional prescription pairs at ⁠https://www.WarbyParker.com/ASKLISA ⁠⁠



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Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



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If you've repeatedly asked your kid to help out and they still don’t follow through, this is the episode you’ve been waiting for.

Dr. Lisa Damour breaks down why nagging doesn't build a work ethic — and what actually does. From linking privileges to responsibilities, to knowing exactly when to step back and let natural consequences do the teaching, this encore episode gives parents of tweens and teens a practical, guilt-free framework for raising kids who can be counted on, without turning every chore or assignment into a battle.

💡 YOU'LL LEARN:

- Why structure matters more than warmth alone, and why holding the line on chores, even when kids are grumpy, is the right call

- Why extrinsic motivation is perfectly valid, and how linking responsibilities to privileges mirrors the way the real world actually works

- Why "complain but comply" is a completely reasonable goal, and how releasing the expectation of cheerful enthusiasm takes pressure off everyone

- When to stop nagging about schoolwork and let natural consequences take over, and why middle school is the best time to do so

- How framing chores as a contribution rather than punishment taps into something deeper than rewards alone

________________

 GET DR. DAMOUR'S FREE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER

Guidance, strategies, and tips delivered straight to your inbox → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/sign-up-for-my-newsletter/⁠

 DR. DAMOUR'S BESTSELLING BOOKS

- Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood – ⁠https://bit.ly/UntangledBook⁠

- Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls – ⁠https://bit.ly/UnderPressuretheBook⁠

- The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents – ⁠https://a.co/d/cbOmTKp⁠

 UNTANGLING 10TO20 MEMBERSHIP

Premium courses & resources for teens and the adults who care for them → ⁠https://lnkd.in/gr52MB-F⁠

 VISIT DR. LISA'S WEBSITE → ⁠https://drlisadamour.com/⁠

________________



Today's sponsors:

Caraway: 10% off your next order with promo code ASKLISA at ⁠https://www.carawayhome.com/asklisa⁠

Hero: Use promo code ASKLISA for 10% off your order at https://www.hero.co.

OneSkin: Use the code ASKLISA for 15% off your next purchase at ⁠https://www.oneskin.co/ASKLISA⁠.

Skylight: Get $30 off your 15-inch calendar at www://www.MySkylight.com/ASKLISA

________________



Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.  Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday.



________________



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Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices